Pentagon announces the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit

United States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF)

These mostly Southern boys will be dropped off into Afghanistan and will be given only the following facts about the Taliban and terrorists:

1. The season opened today
2. There is no limit
3. They taste just like chicken
4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music, or Jesus
5. They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt

The Pentagon expects the problem in Afghanistan to be over by Friday

Applications are available at your local Wal-Mart sporting goods counter